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After watching and listening to all of the pre announcements for the pending announcements of those choosing to run for President of the United States, I thought things could not get much worse. Wrong!! Beginning today, the 23 of January, we will be inundated by hype for the annual academy of Narcissism Awards or as they are commonly known, Academy Awards.

You know the Academy awards! These are awards voted for and given by those who write, produce, direct and star in films (motion Pictures) that we have never heard of and most likely will never see until they are released on CD and sold to 24 hour cable channels for endless broadcast.

The Academy has done it’s best to increase the audience but after all there are only a limited number of adolescent individuals in the world. Observing so called celebrities arrive on the red carpet dressed in costumes that rival the national debt of most third world countries is about as entertaining as chewing on tin foil. The punishment is only increased by interviews of Hollywood’s best and brightest who are generally only interested in getting their best profile in front of the camera. I would love to see the combined IQ of all those interviewed on the red carpet. I suspect it would rival the combined IQ of patients in a large Meth rehab unit.

Only when we think we have seen it all the actual awards take place. Oh yes, the career achievement award given to the best and brightest 32 year old bimbo in the academy. The recipient may show up in a strapless gown split completely on one side and her silicone enhanced bosom hanging out the top just in case a unique photo op might occur. The recipient for best male actor (it is not longer in vogue to use the term actress and actor) may show up wearing the worst excuse for a tuxedo in the history of man. The most talented clothing designers are employed to furnish the costumes for the Narcissism Awards. Most of the designers still believe that Blade Runner was a real look into the future and design accordingly. The only costumes that have been even more ridiculous were those worn in a movie named The Fifth Element and I fully expect to see some of the Hollywood elite show up dressed like the character portrayed by Gary Oldman in this movie.

By the end of the evening the television viewing audience will be limited to those with permanent memory loss or those who will soon suffer the same fate. It has been rumored The Narcissism Awards may be used for the treatment of mental patients. It is a non invasive treatment substituted for prefrontal lobotomies, less invasive but unfortunately a lot more painful.

A good alternative to watching the Narcissistic Awards is to find a good cable channel and watch continual reruns of the old sitcom The Real McCoys. If you do not recognize the program look it up on a search engine. Another alternative is to watch the first four hours of this year’s 24 and wonder what would happen if the radioactivity spread to Hollywood. WWJBD?.

Bubba Terry

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hillary_obamaOk, I must admit that I feel much safer now that Barack Obama has decided to take the first legal steps toward running for the Presidency of The United States.  NOT!!!  Are there any human beings with a body temperature of 98.6 who actually believe that Mr. Obama will run against Hillary?  Give me a small break!  Were I a betting man I would bet that the Democratic ticket for 2008 will be Clinton for President and Obama for President of Vice.

Barack Obama is indeed a fine looking young man and evidently has a lot of charm. I hardly think he has the same charisma of JFK although the media has already decided he is the second coming of John Kennedy.  He has a myriad of experience having been elected to the U.S. Senate exactly one time after serving for 2 terms in a state office in Illinois. (notice my tongue is sticking through my cheek.)  I hope his main qualification among those of voting age is not the fact that he is the only black member of the U.S. Senate.  One must admit however that a Presidential ticket that includes a white woman and the wife of an ex-President and a running mate who is young, smart, good looking and oh, by the way, is also African American would present an almost unbeatable ticket. The first woman President might serve for 2 terms and then the first Black Vice President could become the first Black President for 2 terms.  The Democrats would have the White House locked up for 16 years.  It is almost too perfect.  The only thing that could make it better would be for Mr. Obama to choose a Muslim for his VP running mate sometime after 2012.

One major problem would be Teddy Kennedy trying to pronounce Obama’s first name.  Usually, depending on how awake the Senator from Massachusetts may be, the name is slurred something like Osama Obama or Barack Osama.  That Teddy Kennedy, he is certainly a source of pride for The Bay State!

Clinton and Obama might make for an interesting ticket because it would be considered un-American and politically incorrect to vote against either of them.  I suspect Hillary would quickly find a way to avoid public scrutiny due to her disdain for answering questions that are not rehearsed or previously submitted to her staff for her approval.  Mr. Obama might have to take up the slack resulting from Hillary’s refusal or inability to give answers to any meaningful questions.  This would make for some very interesting behind the scenes jockeying as Hillary Rodham loves the spotlight but refuses to answer any serious questions and I suspect Obama will grab any microphone that is not glued down in order to get a few sound bites on the evening news.

Hang on boys and girls … the election of 2008 will indeed be a great awakening for those of you who still believe elections are won on integrity and principle.  Sound bites, good looks and little in the area of substance will certainly play well with the great unwashed voting public in 2008.  I cannot imagine who the Republican Party will run against Obama and Clinton. Perhaps Newt Gingrich, John McCain or whoever else decides to run on the Republican ticket should grow a beard and begin wearing black suits and a stovepipe hat and hope they are confused with a reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln.  The Republican Presidential candidate will also have to choose a good looking black woman to run as VP.  Condi Rice certainly has the intelligence but gets absolutely no respect from the press.  Perhaps Paula Abdul should be chosen and share her inside secrets from the American Idol Kool-Aid drinkers.  As a matter of fact, perhaps the Republicans should run an American Idol type of presidential race, the candidate could sing, dance and promise everything to everybody and then the public could vote on who they wanted to be the Republican candidate.  Wait a minute … the Democratic Party has already begun using that idea.  Oh well, I suppose we will have to become accustomed to ivory and ebony in the White House.

Terry