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After watching and listening to all of the pre announcements for the pending announcements of those choosing to run for President of the United States, I thought things could not get much worse. Wrong!! Beginning today, the 23 of January, we will be inundated by hype for the annual academy of Narcissism Awards or as they are commonly known, Academy Awards.

You know the Academy awards! These are awards voted for and given by those who write, produce, direct and star in films (motion Pictures) that we have never heard of and most likely will never see until they are released on CD and sold to 24 hour cable channels for endless broadcast.

The Academy has done it’s best to increase the audience but after all there are only a limited number of adolescent individuals in the world. Observing so called celebrities arrive on the red carpet dressed in costumes that rival the national debt of most third world countries is about as entertaining as chewing on tin foil. The punishment is only increased by interviews of Hollywood’s best and brightest who are generally only interested in getting their best profile in front of the camera. I would love to see the combined IQ of all those interviewed on the red carpet. I suspect it would rival the combined IQ of patients in a large Meth rehab unit.

Only when we think we have seen it all the actual awards take place. Oh yes, the career achievement award given to the best and brightest 32 year old bimbo in the academy. The recipient may show up in a strapless gown split completely on one side and her silicone enhanced bosom hanging out the top just in case a unique photo op might occur. The recipient for best male actor (it is not longer in vogue to use the term actress and actor) may show up wearing the worst excuse for a tuxedo in the history of man. The most talented clothing designers are employed to furnish the costumes for the Narcissism Awards. Most of the designers still believe that Blade Runner was a real look into the future and design accordingly. The only costumes that have been even more ridiculous were those worn in a movie named The Fifth Element and I fully expect to see some of the Hollywood elite show up dressed like the character portrayed by Gary Oldman in this movie.

By the end of the evening the television viewing audience will be limited to those with permanent memory loss or those who will soon suffer the same fate. It has been rumored The Narcissism Awards may be used for the treatment of mental patients. It is a non invasive treatment substituted for prefrontal lobotomies, less invasive but unfortunately a lot more painful.

A good alternative to watching the Narcissistic Awards is to find a good cable channel and watch continual reruns of the old sitcom The Real McCoys. If you do not recognize the program look it up on a search engine. Another alternative is to watch the first four hours of this year’s 24 and wonder what would happen if the radioactivity spread to Hollywood. WWJBD?.

Bubba Terry