When Tag is Outlawed …

You’ve heard the saying before. When guns are outlawed, only outlaws with have guns. Well, now the PC crowd has decided that the age-old childhood game of Tag needs to be outlawed along with guns and pointy things and dodgeball and anything else that might offend someone or actually teach a kid some real lessons in life. To all of these PC’ers and politicians and bureaucrats who want to be into every aspect of every American’s lives – catch the clue bus – get out of the way.

Life is about Winners and Losers. Sometimes you’re IT.  Kids learn from playing games like Tag and Dodgeball and when I was a kid, mumbly-peg (played with a sharp pointed knife). When will this insanity end? When will Americans just get to the point that they have had enough of this BS? For me, I’m way past that point.

I was a kid during the 50’s and 60’s. Every boy I knew owned a pocketknife and took it to school – everyday. I never knew another kid who killed anyone with his pocketknife. For Pete’s sake, we play a game with knives in the schoolyard playground – in sight of the teachers. Back then, no one I every knew pulled out their knife and threatened anyone, much less killed them. You know why? Because our parents taught us better. Because when you got home you would have gotten your butt whacked with a belt or a switch because some neighbor would have called your parents and told them what you did. And there wasn’t any arguing about who told the truth either. The parent who ratted on you was telling the truth. Everybody’s parents kept an eye on everyone else’s kids. We stayed in line (except for the hoodlums – another post) because we knew the consequences. There are no consequences any more. They need to be taught to be more like a Timex watch than a Humpty-Dumpty – Take a licking and keep on ticking.

I really don’t know how I managed to make it through some 50 odd years of living. I played Tag and Dodgeball. Climbed trees 100 feet tall without adult supervision. Went swimmming in rock quarry lakes that had no bottom (they were a 1000 miles deep as far as we knew). Went off all day “exploring” on our bikes with no cell phone but had better be home by dinner time. Had rock battles at opposing fortresses hidden deep in the woods. Advanced to BB fights with slingshots – you knew not to shoot for the head – the “Kid’s Law of the Land” back then.

I really would hate to be a kid in this day and age. I feel sorry for them. No real freedom. No room to explore. No feelings get hurt. No winners or losers. Just a bunch of ignorant PC adults watching over them to make sure they don’t get a scratch or dent or ding or their feelings hurt. We’re building a nation of wussies, in my humble opinion.

Time to reverse the trend. Get out of the kid’s way. Growing up ain’t brain surgery.

Have a great day!

Richard

Characteristics of a Bubba … Loyalty and Kindness

Most of us hate to admit it but we all have a little “bubba” in us. By some definitions a bubba has qualities held to be characteristic of certain Southern white males, such as a relaxed or informal manner, strong loyalty to family and friends, and often an anti-intellectual bias and intolerant point of view. I am here to tell you that the anti intellectual bias is totally off base. For example I have friends who are PhD’s, physicians, business owners and attorneys who are bubbas. They are definitely loyal, they love Jesus (except those of the Jewish persuasion) and they are patriotic to the core. They are Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians and independents sharing a love of God and country and not afraid to state their thoughts in the field of public opinion. They (we) are often overshadowed by political correctness but true bubbas do not shy away from controversy or their beliefs.

Many of the bubbas I have known are truly characters and could fill many pages of manuscripts with their foolishness and their acts of kindness and their willingness to help those in need regardless of race or creed. Read on for a story of one bubba with a heart of gold.

Our story begins with one couple among a group of friends experiencing the birth of their first grandchild. This birth was the first grandchild in a group of 8 couples (most males in the group would identify with the term bubba) and was widely celebrated. What makes this event unique is the fact that the grandchild was born with Down Syndrome. This was not known prior to the birth and not expected by anyone. The group immediately took on the role of a support mechanism. Not expressing sorrow but celebrating the life of the child and performing numerous acts of kindness and love for the child, the new parents and grandparents. This support continues 7 years after the birth of the child and the child refers to all of these individuals as aunts and uncles. A bond never to be broken!

What does this have to do with being a bubba? Here is one example.

One bubba and his family were on vacation a few years after the aforementioned child was born. They were eating seafood in a coastal Florida restaurant when a couple was seated next to them. The couple had a child with Down Syndrome. Bubba remembering his friends decided to perform an act of kindness anonymously. He called the waitress over and gave her $100 bill and told her to use this to pay for the meal of the family who had been seated next to his table. He spoke to the family on the way out and mentioned that he had friends in a similar situation but never mentioned paying the bill. This is the same person who would go out of his way to assist anyone at any time and more stories will follow of his exploits.

I only wish more of us could be bubbas!

Bubba Terry

Keep Out Means Keep Out

A few weeks ago I witnessed a scary incident with my grandson. My son and his wife and melded family of three kids were finally moving from his old home to a newly renovated home his wife of 1-year brought to the party. The adults were working away and the half dozen or so kids were playing and have a great time – not a care in the world – as kids will, and should, do. We hadn’t been working long loading the truck. The kids were playing on the neighbor’s trampoline between the two houses. They’re all above the age of 9 and need limited supervision.

The neighbor owns a Rottweiler – his name is Blade. The kids know the dog. Have for years. He’s a little agressive but all in all a good dog. Rottweilers are protective of their territory but are a good breed. Blade has shown aggressiveness on many occasions but the fence is marked “Keep Out” and the kids know to stay away from Blade and not to ever go in the yard or to aggrevate him across the fence.

During the loading of the truck and the playing on the trampoline, the boys manage to let their ball go into Blade’s territory – behind the fence – his domain. My grandson, 9 years old and smart as a whip, devises a plan to get the ball back. The other boys will divert Blade’s attention and he will retreive the ball through another gate entrance and sneak out before Blade sees him. Pretty good plan.

The plan works great until just before my grandson makes it to the gate leaving. Old Blade tracks him down and chomps down on the small and tender buttock of my grandson. And that is all Blade does. He didn’t continue to bite him or try to maul him or continue to attack him. Just one chomp to teach the kid a lesson … stay out of my yard!

Of course, you can imagine the panic and screaming and chaos that followed. Luckily, the kid is find. 48 stitches and a sore butt for a week. And old dad got to move his son and family with little help. But a mighty big lesson for a bunch of young boys.

Rottweiler. Fenced yard. Posted everywhere … KEEP OUT – BEWARE OF DOG.

People post signs for a reason. Read them. Teach your kids to read them and respect them. It ain’t brain surgery.

Richard

When Put in Charge, Take Charge

Perhaps I am becoming a bit more cynical in my adult years but for the life of me I cannot understand why the American public insists on re-electing the same individuals year after year. One prime example is Massachusetts. I know Edward (Teddy) Kennedy has the legacy factor working for him but my goodness the man can no longer create logical sentences. He crowns himself as looking out for the rights of the poor and underprivileged through the use of taxpayer money. Remember it is always easier to spend OPM (other peoples money) on social programs. The Kennedy’s have enough money to fund most of the welfare programs in Massachusetts without using Federal dollars.

The upcoming election could result in a lot of changes among the Beltway Barons. Should the reigning party loose a majority in the house we may see an awakening not witnessed since Rip Van Winkle. Perhaps those currently in office will see the error of their ways and realize that rule 13 is not for sissies. (Rule 13 was popularized by Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf, simply stated it says “When put in charge, take charge.”) Those currently in charge have wimped out on their constituents. (Think illegal immigration.)

Our elected officials now spend a majority of their waking hours strategizing how they will be re-elected. The game has changed from being public servants to one of leeching off the public. My fear is for future generations of American citizens who may end up paying exorbitant tax rates just to fuel the never ending needs of big government. Regardless of the great job George Bush and company are doing fighting the war on terror the fact remains that government expenditures and personnel have increased at rates far greater than under the great spender … Bill Clinton.

The time is right to shake up our majority and make them work for our votes. Our fear should not be the mid-term election of 2006 but rather the Presidential election of 2008. Change may be painful but sometimes it is good.

Expert gardeners all know that we need to trim our plants on a regular basis if they are to grow properly and in the correct shape.

It ain’t Brain Surgery!

Terry

Health Care Like Your Congressman’s

I have to admit. I stole the title of this post from an ABC World News segment. This week, they are doing segments on health care and what can be done to fix it. This one last night got my goat. It just amazes me how these supposedly intelligent “leaders” can’t do anything right it seems any more. Discussions on reforming health care have been going on now for years and years. Lawmakers and politicians and burueacrats want to make out like there is no easy solution. Truth of the matter is … it ain’t brain surgery to fix the health system.

As you’ll read in the article linked above, the answer has been right in front of their Pinocchio noses all along. Representatives and Senators are part of roughly 8 million federal employees and their families, from postal workers to the president, who are covered by insurance that is flexible, affordable and transportable from government job to government job.  The plan is so good that it oughta be offered to ALL Americans. Why is it not?

Among its advantages is the competition it creates between providers, which results in lower costs. The federal plan is made up of more than 280 health plans available to federal workers across the country.  In New York alone, a federal employee can choose from among 18 plans. 

Advocates said that competition keeps costs low: While the price of private insurance premiums is expected to rise 7.7 percent this year, the federal plan will go up just 1.8 percent.   Okay … stop right here and ponder the previous statement a minute. 7.7 percent rise versus 1.8 percent rise. This ain’t a brain surgery decision.

“It can show you what choice can do, what choice actually means, what intense competition and cost control can result in,” said Robert Moffit of the Heritage Foundation policy institute.

Hmmmmm …. choice to keep costs down. What a novel idea. Sounds like good old, pure American capitalism and market demand to me. 8 million of your fellow Americans get this choice because they work for the federal government. You don’t. Your congressman (or woman) gets this kind of coverage but you don’t. Don’t seem quite right does it?

Folks, this ain’t brain surgery. Write your representatives today and tell them you want the same health care choices they have.

Have a great day!

Richard & Terry  

Fire Up The Grill

I love this country!  Where else in the known universe could you find a book on grilling for dummies?  Keep in mind that those of us raised in the South have been burning meat on open fires our entire lives and have some disdain for books on how to accomplish this feat. Grilling is not brain surgery.  You only have a couple of decisions to make.  The first is the type of grill you want to use.  Charcoal or gas.  True aficionados of grilling swear by the charcoal method and if this is your preference for heavens sake buy a good grill.  The Weber Kettle grill is a great grill for the money and the dampers on the lid work like a charm.  If you are really serious about charcoal cooking then dig deep in your pockets and purchase a Green Egg grill.  This thing is ceramic and cooks like an oven with grilled taste.  Personally, I have reached the stage in my life where I seek simplicity over GC. (Grilling Correctness)  A good stainless steel propane gas grill is hard to beat for ease of use and convenience.  They can be purchased for $300 or more and they immediately produce high evenly dispersed heat.  Steaks and burgers lack some of the flavor experienced with genuine charcoal cooking but speed and convenience are worth a little sacrifice.

The second and maybe the most important decision is the quality of meat you choose to grill.  If you go with cheap cuts of beef for grilling then expect the result to taste like a grilled wallet.  Spend the money and get a good cut of meat.  If you do not know how to choose the meat then by all means get a butcher to help you.  Pork and chicken will cook faster than you think so watch them closely.  If you choose to cook pork loins or other large meat portions I highly recommend you invest in a meat thermometer.  The alternative could result in spending the night in the bathroom swearing you will never again cook over an open fire.  Now, get out there and burn some meat.

Terry

Surviving Wedding Receptions (When you are paying)

If you have daughters, want to have daughters or are on the verge of having a son-in-law, you owe it to yourself to read the following. Regardless of what you may be told there are only two types of fathers of the bride. Those who pay for receptions and those who are glad they did not have to pay.  I speak with some authority here as both of my daughters had rather large weddings and big, boisterous receptions.

As the father of the bride your responsibility includes the following: Shut Up, Show Up and Pay Up.  Remember those three terms and you will maintain a happy relationship with your wife, your daughter, your family and your daughter’s new family. It ain’t brain surgery.

Shut Up

When your future son-in-law’s mother wants to publish the wedding invitation in the local small town newspaper don’t panic.  I told my daughter and future son-in-law that I would have two no-neck thugs dressed in tuxes checking invitations at the door of the reception.  This comment cost me in ways you do not want to know.

Show Up

As father of the bride you must meet and greet all the attendees at the reception.  This involves a lot of handshaking (Grinning & Grabbing) and you do not want to know where some of those hands have been lately.  You also will have the opportunity to hug all of the ladies.  This is a two-edged sword.  Hugging the young and well endowed females is fun as they often wear low cut dresses and enjoy full frontal hugs.  Your friends and entire family will watch your every move and report every indiscretion.  The other side of the sword is the hugs with the older ladies who use too much perfume and press you close to their aging bosoms while telling you how beautiful the bride and your wife look.

Pay Up

The pay up portion is the most painful.  You will look at every half eaten tidbit and bemoan the fact that someone took one bite from a $5.00 hors’d’ourve.  Your friends will slap you on the back and rave over the fact that you are financing their drinking binge. The 4 bottles of wine you ordered for 400 guests runs out in 30 seconds and by the end of the evening your alcohol count is at 90 bottles of wine and 3 kegs of beer plus a few mixed drinks.  The band informs you that they played an hour over the contract and they want more money and then your daughter runs to you with open arms, gives you a kiss and says thank you for a wonderful evening.  More wine anyone!!!

Terry

Congressional Page Scandal Solution

This post addresses the recent “issue” about the Congressional Page Scandal. We put this in the very large category of “Wasteful Government Spending.” Foley is a stupid man. How stupid people become leaders of the best damn country on earth is a mystery to us – but only the people who vote them into power can answer that one.

Truth is, most logical people do away with things and processes that are no longer relevant or needed. Business people do this all the time. We do it in our personal lives, too. If the people who run Congress had any sense, they would have done away with the Page program years ago and there wouldn’t be a scandal. Instead of the airwaves and newspapers being filled with jibber-jabber about a very stupid man, we could be talking about important issues related to the survival of the USA like imigration reform, social security reform, income tax overhaul (read Fair Tax), health care issues and the like. But noooooooooo – the media thinks we want to hear about a very stupid man.

The Page program is worthless and useless. A recent story we read told how many millions of dollars (it is always millions of dollars when it’s a government program – never hundreds or thousands) this dumb and outdated program cost us – the taxpayers. Get rid of it … now – ASAP. How hard could it be to quit a program we no longer need?

The Page program was started long before the days of electronic communications like email and the Internet. Why do Senators and Representatives need little snotty-nosed, rich, spoiled, high school students to run around the halls of Congress delivering messages and papers? They don’t. It’s a big waste of money and it should be stopped now. This one is definitely not a brain surgery decision.

Write your representatives today and tell them to do it … eliminate the Page program now. It ain’t brain surgery.

Have a great day!

Richard & Terry 

Blinded By The Light

Atlanta is a big city with lots of traffic and gridlock. “Rush Hour” is pratically all day. Drivers in Atlanta wreck their cars a lot. This post is about some ways to decrease your odds of having a wreck. It falls into the larger category of Transportation.

Sunglasses are a pretty simple item. Wearing sunglasses while driving in the sunlight oughta be a law. Why folks don’t wear sunglasses while driving in the sun is beyond our logical reasoning. Sunglasses cut the glare. Glare causes blind spots. Blind spots cause wrecks. Pretty simple. It ain’t brain surgery. If sunglasses improve your vision while driving in the sunlight, why doesn’t everyone own a pair and use them why driving? Good question.

While we’re talking about seeing better while driving. Do your own unscientific survey the next time you head into work. Check the windshields of the drivers around you and notice how dirty and filthy they are. No wonder so many people have wrecks. Clean the damn windsheild every now and then. It takes, what, 3 minutes? Keep some Windex and paper towels in your car trunk – lord knows, gas stations don’t keep window cleaning equipment at the pumps any longer. And when we say clean the windshield, we mean clean both the inside and outside.

Most times it’s the small things that make a big difference. Nationwide, the average collision repair invoice is about $2200 – plus all the hassels. Spend a little money on a good pair of sunglasses (and use them) and keep your windshield and car windows clean. Your life while driving will better, you’ll be a safer driver, and you just might avoid an accident or save your life or someone elses (maybe ours).

It ain’t brain surgery. Until next time.

Richard & Terry

Making It Through Another Social Gathering

The subject of this post falls under the larger category we call “Grinning and Grabbing” (smiling a lot and shaking hands a lot). We’ll have more posts on Grinning and Grabbing as time goes on. Perfecting the art of Grinning and Grabbing can be very beneficial in many ways.  A lot of folks would say this category could also be called The Art of Bullshitting – we won’t argue that point at all.

Those who master the art of social chit chat and cocktail banter will find themselves being promoted in their business, going home with eligible singles and sought after on local boards and civic organizations. The process is quite simple but it does require a little preparation prior to venturing out into the real world of phonies, near do wells and ego maniacs.

Remember the phrase Knowledge is Power? Well this is of dire importance if you are to succeed in mastering the fine art of Grinning and Grabbing (bullshit). By the way, we do not mean to offend anyone by using the term bullshit but after all most of the jabber at meetings and cocktail parties really is nothing more than BS. The only way to get through to those who have mastered the art of BS is to out-BS them. This may seem to be an overwhelming task when first taken on but trust us, it is as easy as 1.2.3. Remember this: If you can’t dazzle them with your brillance, baffle them with your bullshit.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you are married to a professional educator and find yourself at a get together with other educators. This can be any level of education from Kindergarten through college. Naturally the conversation will gravitate toward classroom experiences and discussions regarding the education of the great unwashed. You may try to engage these educators in a conversation involving your particular work area but forget it. Remember this will work for any profession.

Do a little research prior to the get together. For instance you might ask the following question. What impact if any is the home schooling phenomenon having on your school district? (you can perform an Internet search using home schooling followed by any state in the union and you will get a plethora of information.) Regardless of the state you will open up a can of worms that will generate a lot of discussion. Please note, you should read a couple of articles regarding the subject and steer the conversation in the direction of your knowledge. This process will work in almost any circumstance.

We can hear some of you already. For instance those of you who are forced to interact socially with a genuine brain surgeon will undoubtedly be apprehensive to look up brain surgery procedures on the Internet and enter into a conversation on the subject in a social gathering. You may be afraid because there is always the possibility that you will find you know as much as the real surgeon and that scares the bejeezus out of you, and it should.

One ice breaker that works very well for us in this circumstance is to say something like this. My college room mate was hit in the head several years ago and underwent brain surgery to relieve some kind of pressure in his cranial cavity. He died and his wife sued the Doctor, the hospital and the HMO. Things worked out well however because she married a podiatrist and now lives in West Palm Beach. This will usually get the conversation changed to something like football or the latest sexual conquest. You win.

Remember you control your own destiny at any social gathering and you can choose to be a wallflower and follow the proven age old adage which is: It is better to stay silent and be thought to be stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt. This old adage was written by someone who was afraid of their own shadow. You have to venture out of your shell if you are to mature and enjoy life to the fullest.

Life Ain’t Brain Surgery. Have an awesome day!

Richard & Terry